BACK TO THE GRIND:


I recently found this blog while I was killing time at work.  The more things change the more they stay the same.  I have decided to give this another shot, and try to be "productive".  This will hopefully give me a place to channel some of the excess mental energy I seem to have.  I have my fingers crossed.

Time

Well I'm sitting here waiting to catch Nels on Skype, so what better time to start this little piece on watching time pass.  I came to the conclusion about a month ago the past 10 years of my life has been largely about waiting for time to pass, something to happen, or something to be over.  I'm not really complaining about it, actually it is interesting thing to think about in retrospect.  Starting about my Jr. year of high school I wanted nothing more than for high school to be over.  I was never really sure what was coming after high school but I was sure it had to be better than Marshall.  What came after high school was Corpus and as fun as some parts of it were,  I was not really ready to deal with everything about that place.  I also got it in my head that California is where I wanted to be.  So for a large part of that year all I wanted to do was party, go to the beach and just pass the time till I could move.  That point in my life really sums up about 7 of the past 10 years.  I've been waiting to move.  I really did love being in Burbank the first time.  I was 19, surrounded by Melissa's friends and really didn't have a care.  I left Burbank to return to TX for some issues and then it was start the 2 year clock till I could move out to Cali again one way or the other.  At first is was the Air Force then I realized I could return to CA as a college student and put in for Cal Poly.  How little I knew about student loans back then and finally understand what it takes to pay them off.  I never really thought about the fact that I would be living in Pomona alone, 30 minutes from anyone I had known.  It really hit me after about a week of sitting on my couch with no one to talk to other than my new roommates.  The sad thing is when I got back it had some how changed for me.  I wanted so bad for everything to fall into place, that when I got back I never really thought about what i was returning to.  I found myself living alone with strangers, and life was nothing like what I had left it at a few years earlier.  Fortunately I was way to busy to be really down in the dumps, but it did hurt to be alone and ready to move on.  After talking to all of my friends and family I accepted that it was ok to move on and allow my goals and dreams to evolve with me.  So it was off to Denton and a chance to live with 2 of my closest friends.   There I finally found myself in a place where I wasn't watching a clock.  Well that was until I was really sick of being in College.  When I get something in my head; I'm so convinced that it will work out for the best I forget to enjoy and take advantage of what I've got because it's already time to move on.  So after a couple more moves I find myself in a similar situation of just watching a clock and calendar waiting for what comes next.  However, for the first time I'm not really sure what or where that is.  I know I want to be somewhere close to friends and family.  At this point I really want to try and settle for a little while.  I know there are things I'm missing by living my life the way I do.  I guess I'll find out when I get there in August.

Slower and louder doesn’t help.

Growing up in the southwest has exposed me to conversations where language was a huge road block.  I’ve also been fortunate enough to do my fair share of traveling with the same issue coming up.  I’ll be the first to admit that not knowing any other languages is a fault.  I try my best to pick up little things when I go to a country so I’m not completely lost.  Having said that, there is one other thing I understand; just because you yell it in English does not change the fact that it’s IN ENGLISH!!!  I’m baffled by people that seem to think that when a person from another country doesn’t understand them it must be because I didn’t say it loud enough.  There is a scene in Scrubs that sums this up perfectly when Carla’s supposedly non-English speaking brother portrayed by Freddy Rodriquez looks at Turk and says “Yeah, well that yelling it slower and louder isn’t as helpful as you might think!”  This goofy practice first really hit me in ASL class.  When my professor forbid us from finger-spelling or spelling out in sign what we were trying to say.   He would tell us “If I asked you to tell me what an apple was, how would spelling A-P-P-L-E would help me?”  That’s the truth, in a nut shell we assume that we can force feed our message by hammering someone with volume.  Why?

The counter to the previous post

Ok, so it doesn't sound like i'm whining the whole time on here I wanted to add a plus list.  This place has been a great experience for a lot of reasons.  here are a few:

• Money, Money, Money.......... MONEY!!!!!  Yes I get a pretty amazing pay check.  At the end of this year I will be debt free, own a bunch of new and cool stuff and actually have a savings.  This is the first point in my adult life I don't count the days to payday because i'm broke.  Its the primary reason we are all here and for those who have something to say, they are always hiring.
• Becoming more of professional:  Lets face it, college is in no way the real world.  As a matter of fact I think the way people now live from 18 - 24 is very far from being an adult.  I never really had to deal with office politics like this, where my decisions have real consequences and I need to keep tabs on things.  I have extra responsibilities and I have people I have to report to.  I don't know if I have a career coming out of this, only time will tell.  However I feel more like a working adult than I ever have before.
• Travel!!!!!!  Lets face it, I enjoy using the quote "not all who wander are lost." for a reason.  This year I will get to see 6 countries and a handful of new cities.  I might get to see United at home, Dublin for St. Patties and Sweden.  I'm never done the serious relationship thing, I've never settled down, but travel has always been my thing.  So this year is going to give me something I have always wanted.
• A better understanding of what is going on in this part of the world.  It's funny to think back now at all the conversations in class about how we as a country were effecting a country.  How we as a nation are hated.  Some people are ASSHOLESSS!!! And hated for a very good reasons, but I don't thing the rage is quite at the level most people think it is.  Especially since we poor money into these countries like nobody's business.
• Absents makes the heart grow fonder.  I think I will learn more about myself this year than I have in a long time.
• I've lost 20lbs in 10 weeks and I can see it continuing.  It would be nice to return to my high school weight.  I was getting kinda sick of looking fluffy.

So there you go, not all bad. :)

Things I miss (no real order)

• Good Mexican, Cajun, Italian, and pretty much every other type of food you can find in the states. I've dropped about 20 pounds since I've been here and I don't think its just a lack of alcohol or having to walk everywhere.
• Fast internet.  Yeah, Yeah, I get that i'm in a war zone.  But shit, I'm having flashbacks to dial up days.
• My family:  I was lucky to have a truly amazing family.  I'm very close with both of my siblings as well as my folks.  I miss talking to them everyday, and being able to vent.  I miss having a beer with my brother at odd hours and the conversations about everything and nothing at all.
• Having a toilet and shower in the same building I sleep in.  What a pain in the ass, to have to considered if i really need to go THAT bad.  Anytime taking a pee involves putting shoes on its already to much work.
• Not living near a flight line.
• Not having to plan a run to the store, because it involves two buses and half a day.
• I miss not having to smell LN's and OCN's.  If you are familiar with the title, then you know what I mean.
• Having anything in my life other than Work, eat, sleep, work, eat, workout, sleep.  Being in this place feels like you feel off the edge of the world.  Thank god for social networks, DSN lines and email because I don't know how I would handle this without.  As much as I have traveled I have found that i'm very attached to my life and world in Texas.
• I miss having my own room.  I can honestly say I would be ok with a roommate, but god I need my own space.
• Conversations that don't involve missing home, missing food, missing pretty much everything I'm listing. Most people either talk about how shitty work is or how much they miss _________.
• Lazy Sundays.
• Living with a dog, it was nice and I plan to buy one upon my return.

Vacation

One of the HUGE, MASSIVE, ENORMOUS perks of contracting is Rest and Relaxation.   So where do I go?  I’ve got have a grand total of a month off and I’m thinking I will follow the recommended pattern of using 2 weeks after every 4 months.  I really could go anywhere, but at this point I’m looking at 1 of 3 options.

1)      I could follow through with my original plan and find some sunny beach south of the Equator.  Spend 10 days at some dream resort having drinks, getting tan and generally just relaxing myself out of existence.  This is very appealing for the obvious reasons and it isn’t such a bad plan.  However, after doing a little research it’s tough to pick where exactly I would go.  I have looked at the Maldives, Fiji and Australia.  All are very beautiful, exotic and I’m sure would make for a wonderful week.  However, I’m think it will be money better spent on the second trip to England and Ireland.

2)      If the schedule works out I might be able to meet my Dad in Germany for a few days and then maybe head to Sweden for a few days.  While I have been to Germany, I have never been with money.  That alone would be a nice change of pace and open up a few more things to do.  Sweden is also been on my list of places to see and visit.  I have a friend in Stockholm so it’s not like I would have to discover the city alone.  Plus it would be nice to see a couple familiar faces without giving up the 35% pay bump I get from being overseas.

3)      It might be cool to meet with Jimmy if he does go somewhere exotic in December.  Not sure about his plans or thoughts so this is by far and away the least thought out plan.  Again it would be great to hang out with someone, especially my brother.   Plus Brazil seems to be at the top of his list of plans so that could prove to be an amazing trip.  Guess we will just have to wait and see on this one.

The trip I’m going on in the spring is already loosely planned out, which is nice.  I’m headed to Manchester to live out a sports dream and go watch United play at Old Trafford.  This alone is going to be worth the long days and unique situation I find myself in.  But to go with the amazing experience of the game, I’m also going to spend St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin.  OUT OF CONTROL!  I had a blast in Ireland the last time I went and it will be awesome to spend that day in the mother of all St. Patty’s day drinking towns.  To top the whole thing off my buddy Robbie is gonna make the trip across the pond and join me.  So it will make for a great couple of weeks.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Things are not going to go your way all the time.  That’s it, that’s all I have for today.  Seems trivial and it belongs in the *duh* stack doesn’t it.  Yet every day I deal with someone who somehow believes they are special and desire special treatment.  Now, you don’t know unless you ask and I truly believe that.  Ask, get your answer and then move on.  People who whine and act shitty when they don’t get their way are the Bain of my existence.  Life sucks sometimes, DEAL WITH IT!  I’m not asking you to enjoy it.  I’m not telling you that you’re stuck with whatever your problem is.  What I am saying is by trying to make it everyone else’s problem you are a piece of shit; Plain and simple.  What did you expect coming to a war zone, and getting a free place to stay?!  While I believe this applies to more than just my current living situation I want to address this specifically.  I cannot stand people that have to bitch about something that literally thousands of others have dealt with.  We have been in this country for over a decade.  You are not special in that you stay a) on a top bunk; b)a room with others; c)a small dirty area; or d) lacking a lot of the other luxuries of living in the states i.e. cable and internet.  Because let’s face it, if you don’t like your job quit!  None of the whiners are military, its people making 100k+ that could bitch about winning the lotto. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

                Ok I’m done now.