Sunday, April 1, 2012


Well I'm sitting here waiting to catch Nels on Skype, so what better time to start this little piece on watching time pass.  I came to the conclusion about a month ago the past 10 years of my life has been largely about waiting for time to pass, something to happen, or something to be over.  I'm not really complaining about it, actually it is interesting thing to think about in retrospect.  Starting about my Jr. year of high school I wanted nothing more than for high school to be over.  I was never really sure what was coming after high school but I was sure it had to be better than Marshall.  What came after high school was Corpus and as fun as some parts of it were,  I was not really ready to deal with everything about that place.  I also got it in my head that California is where I wanted to be.  So for a large part of that year all I wanted to do was party, go to the beach and just pass the time till I could move.  That point in my life really sums up about 7 of the past 10 years.  I've been waiting to move.  I really did love being in Burbank the first time.  I was 19, surrounded by Melissa's friends and really didn't have a care.  I left Burbank to return to TX for some issues and then it was start the 2 year clock till I could move out to Cali again one way or the other.  At first is was the Air Force then I realized I could return to CA as a college student and put in for Cal Poly.  How little I knew about student loans back then and finally understand what it takes to pay them off.  I never really thought about the fact that I would be living in Pomona alone, 30 minutes from anyone I had known.  It really hit me after about a week of sitting on my couch with no one to talk to other than my new roommates.  The sad thing is when I got back it had some how changed for me.  I wanted so bad for everything to fall into place, that when I got back I never really thought about what i was returning to.  I found myself living alone with strangers, and life was nothing like what I had left it at a few years earlier.  Fortunately I was way to busy to be really down in the dumps, but it did hurt to be alone and ready to move on.  After talking to all of my friends and family I accepted that it was ok to move on and allow my goals and dreams to evolve with me.  So it was off to Denton and a chance to live with 2 of my closest friends.   There I finally found myself in a place where I wasn't watching a clock.  Well that was until I was really sick of being in College.  When I get something in my head; I'm so convinced that it will work out for the best I forget to enjoy and take advantage of what I've got because it's already time to move on.  So after a couple more moves I find myself in a similar situation of just watching a clock and calendar waiting for what comes next.  However, for the first time I'm not really sure what or where that is.  I know I want to be somewhere close to friends and family.  At this point I really want to try and settle for a little while.  I know there are things I'm missing by living my life the way I do.  I guess I'll find out when I get there in August.